In any setting, like a business, a school, a community group, or a nonprofit, leadership is important. Good leaders make it clear what they want to achieve, build trust, and inspire people to work together. Studies actually show that teams whose members are highly engaged are about 21% more productive than other teams. This is often because of good leadership. Good leaders build trust and confidence, encourage teamwork, and steer good change. This book shows you step-by-step how to become a better leader, from understanding yourself better to creating a clear strategic goal. It includes advice and examples that can be used at any level and in any situation.

Self-Awareness and Thinking About It

First, great leaders know who they are. Emotional intelligence and human-centered leadership are built on being self-aware. That being said, study shows that only 15% of people are truly self-aware. Not being self-aware can make it harder to make decisions and work with others. To make things better:

Regularly think. Set aside some time each day or every week to think about what you did and how you felt. Write down your wins and failures and how you felt about them in a journal.

Ask for honest opinions. Find out what your skills and weaknesses are from coworkers, friends, or mentors. Formal tools, such as 360° surveys or tests (like CliftonStrengths, Myers-Briggs, or a leadership self-awareness evaluation), could be used. Feedback is not criticism; it’s information that you can use to learn.

Write down your trends. Pay attention to what makes you happy or upset and how you deal with problems. Finding your triggers or beliefs can help you act on purpose. For instance, if you notice that you get defensive when you disagree with someone, you can work on pausing and hearing the next time.

It takes time to become more self-aware, but it’s worth it. Leaders who know their own values, feelings, and how their actions affect others can make choices that are clearer and more honest. Over time, your actions will be more in line with your goals, and you’ll be able to lead with honesty and confidence.

How to Talk to People

Leaders need to get their thoughts across and connect with others. Top leaders don’t just talk about how important communication is; they study and practice all three forms of it. To get better at talking to people:

Active listening is important. To do this, you need to focus completely, ask questions to get more information, and repeat what you hear. If someone tells you they are worried, you could say, “What I hear you saying is…” Active hearing helps people trust you and believe that you understand them. It also shows empathy and pushes people on the team to speak up.

Talk clearly and with meaning. Use short, easy-to-understand words. Tailor your message to the people who will be reading it (a team member, the board, or the community). Use stories or comparisons to help people understand difficult ideas. As an example, use a real project from the past to make your point.

Make sure you understand. After giving a clear explanation, check to see if everyone understands. Ask for questions and be honest if you’re not sure; being open and honest builds trust. Instead of a one-way lecture, try to start a conversation.

Pay attention to body language. Keep a nice tone of voice, make eye contact, and use good body language. A simple smile or nod can get someone to talk. Also, pay attention to your tone and feelings. A calm, confident voice can help others feel better when they are stressed.

It’s also important to give and get criticism when you communicate well. Ask for honest feedback on your ideas and show that you value it. In the same way, give others helpful comments with respect and clarity (see below).

“In this age of information, success is built on ideas. Leaders who get to the top are always working to improve their communication skills.”

When you talk and listen well, you make things clear and connect with others. When leaders talk to their teams freely, there are usually fewer misunderstandings and more buy-in.

Making choices and solving problems

Leaders often have to make tough decisions. The world we live in now is unstable and unclear, which makes it harder than ever to make good choices. To make better choices:

Make the problem clear. Do your best to understand what’s going on. What do you want to happen? To give an example, if a project is behind plan, list the reasons why.

Get information and talk to other people. Find out what people on the team or who have a stake in the project think and feel. Multiple points of view can help you find hidden problems or answers. Don’t get stuck in “analysis paralysis,” though. Give yourself a limit or set of criteria to make the call.

Think about the pros and cons. Make a list of choices and think about their risks, costs, and how well they fit with your values or goals. Simple models, like a quick SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats) list, can help you get your thoughts in order.

Think about both facts and feelings. Look at the facts and figures, but also go with your gut if you have experience with the subject. Compare the short-term benefits to the long-term effects.

Choose and act at the right time. Once you make up your mind, make sure your team understands it clearly and tell them why you made the choice you did. If you can, have the team help you carry out the plan so they understand it.

Look over and make changes. After you do something, check the outcome. What did or did not work? Plan B needs to be changed too. Be ready to change your plans.

Remember that leaders are supposed to “make sense of the uncertainty” and make good decisions when things are uncertain. Using a structured method (define, discuss, decide, learn) helps you feel more confident. People on your team will trust your choices and feel comfortable following your lead if they see you make them carefully and learn from the results.

Having emotional intelligence

A key trait of good leadership is emotional intelligence (EQ), which means being able to understand and control your feelings. A leader with a high EQ can help their teams deal with stress and build better relationships. Important parts are:

Self-awareness: Pay attention to your feelings and how they affect how you act. For instance, if you’re nervous before a meeting, you should be aware of it.

Self-Regulation: Take charge of how you respond. When things get tough, stay calm. Before you answer, take a few deep breaths or a small break if you’re angry or stressed. This shows calmness.

Try to understand how other people feel (empathy). Pay attention to how people talk and move. As an example, you could ask, “How is this situation affecting you?” This shows that you care about how your team feels.

Relationship Skills: Be polite when you talk to people. Work together and settle disagreements in a good way. To make the work environment good, show empathy and talk clearly.

Research shows that a lot of highly skilled people have trouble working with others because they have “difficulty with emotional regulation” and don’t understand what’s being said. On the other hand, employees who talk to a chatbot or a computer system are less satisfied than employees who talk to a real person. As a boss, it’s important to connect with your team in a real way. They should feel like you respect and understand them.

How to get better EQ:

Mindfulness or deep thought can help you stay in touch with your feelings right now.

Before criticizing someone else’s work, try to understand how they feel. Ask a team member if there were personal or resource problems if they miss a goal, for example.

Pay attention to body language. Learn how to deal with typical signs of stress or confusion, like a furrowed brow or silence.

Emotional coaching: Think about doing classes or training on emotional intelligence. This is something that is taught in a lot of leadership courses.

You can make better choices and motivate other people more effectively by improving your EQ. People work harder when their bosses “know how much you care.”

Getting people to trust and believe you

Trust is the most important thing for good leadership. Fans of a leader feel safe and believe in them. To get people to accept and believe you:

Always be honest and constant. Keep your word. Talk about your plans and thinking in an open way. One guide to corporate governance says, “Trust is earned by saying what we will do… and doing what we said we would do — in a clear way.” If plans change, explain why and show how to get back on track.

Own up to your mistakes. When you make a mistake, quickly admit it and explain how you’ll fix it. This sincerity shows that you have it. For instance, if you miss a deadline for a project, say sorry, figure out what went wrong, and change the plan.

Give people credit and praise. Publicly thank team members for their work. Sharing your team’s successes shows that you value them and makes them more loyal.

Don’t tell anyone. If someone tells you their worries or thoughts in secret, don’t break that trust. Safety comes from showing that you care about privacy and handle information carefully.

Sense of fairness and skill. Be good at your job and treat everyone on the team the same. Leaders who favor some people over others or look disorganized lose trust.

People know they can count on you when your deeds always match your words and values. This builds a good image over time. On the other hand, broken promises or unclear intentions quickly destroy trust. Remember that being honest about problems and staying true to your ideals will build trust, not break it, even when times are tough.

Motivating and inspiring other people

A big part of being a leader is getting people excited and motivated. People want their work to be important and make them feel like they are a part of something bigger. In order to inspire and drive:

Talk about a clear goal. Share the organization’s or team’s purpose and goals. Describe how each person’s work fits into a bigger plan. As an example, a teacher-leader could remind staff that what they do affects the futures of their children. People care more about their work when they can see how it affects other people.

Set a good model. Show people the traits you want to see. You have to show passion and hard work if you want others to do the same. If you’re excited about the work, other people are likely to feel the same way.

Honor accomplishments. Real praise should be given often for both big and small wins. Thanks or congrats in a team meeting or a quick note can make people feel better about themselves and boost mood. For example, telling an employee they did a great job on a show or solving a problem makes them more likely to keep doing good work. Indeed says that “complimenting your employees can boost their self-esteem… When people believe in themselves, they often work harder.”

Give your team power and trust. Let people own their work and make choices that fit their jobs. Help people and get rid of problems. People on a team are more committed and ready to take the lead when they know you trust their judgment.

Stay upbeat and excited. A good mood is what drives you. Share interesting ideas and believe that the team can make them happen. Be positive, smile, and see problems as chances to learn.

Keep in mind that different things drive different people (like praise, personal growth, important work, etc.). Take the time to find out what drives each person. Asking things like, “What would make your job more satisfying?” “shows you care. When you link daily tasks to a bigger goal and praise hard work, you make a society where everyone wants to do their best.